We are in the book of Proverbs and as such we are talking about wisdom. And the goal of this study is not just to talk about wisdom, but to gain wisdom - to get it. And then in getting it to put it on and wear it. In other words to have our lives adorned by wisdom. That’s what we see over and over again in the book of Proverbs. There is wisdom in this verse that is to adorn, beautify our lives.

Several years ago I read this verse and it has been lodged in my mind and heart ever since. For two reasons. One, I want to be characterized as “the faithful man”. I really do. The longer I have walked with Jesus, the more I want faithfulness to be the aroma and outcome of my life. And second, I want to walk with faithful men and women. In the parable of the talents, the master comes to settle accounts, and says to his servants who served his interests well, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little, I will set you over much, enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21, 23). Of course we understand this to be a parable of our Lord Jesus Christ. What is he looking for? Faithfulness. He will reward faithful servants. 

So in our verse, there are two kinds of people. There are the many who proclaim their own steadfast love. There is so much here. These are people who “proclaim their own love”.  They proclaim, they cry out, they boast about how big-hearted and loving they are. Apparently these people are a dime a dozen. They are everywhere. There are many. I’ve known them. And so have you. They are quick to commend themselves as a loving friend, but when adversity comes they are gone. Or when loyalty is tested by some kind of sacrifice, it proves to only be words. 

And then there is a second kind of person. And this person is rare. This person is described as the faithful man. And he apparently is so rare, that the proverb actually says, “Who can find such a man”? King David in Psalm 12:1 echoed to same sentiment:

Save, O LORD, for the godly one is gone; for the faithful have vanished from among the children of man.

The faithful have vanished. Who can find such a man or woman? Well, I hope you are thinking to yourself, “I want to be such a person”. I hope you are thinking that. Because that’s wisdom and that’s the point of this message. To gain wisdom. In this case to be the faithful man or woman, boy or girl.

This faithfulness seems to be talking about interpersonal relationships. Not just faithful in some general, vague sense. Certainly not faithful mainly to yourself and your own ideals. And I would even say this is not speaking directly about faithfulness to God - trough it flows from that. This is talking about faithfulness to other people that we are in relationship with; you might say the people we are called to be in covenant with. Families (marriage, parents, children), in friendships, and of course in the church era, in the body of Christ. There are those who boast of love - they are a dime a dozen. And then there is the rare person who is actually faithful.

Now, we need to see something here, because there is a close connection between the words steadfast love (one word in Hebrew) and the word faithful. The word steadfast love comes from a Hebrew word that really carries one of the most important themes in the entire Old Testament. It’s the word “hesed” and it is used almost 250 times in the OT. It’s most often translated as mercy, but is also translated steadfast love, lovingkindness, or goodness. Probably the best translation of this word would be “loyal love”. It brings together the two ideas of loyalty and love. It is a covenantal love. The kind of love that describes how God treats his beloved people. This truth, the truth of God’s loyal love (hesed) is shown in some of our favorite OT passages:

The LORD passed before him and proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, keeping steadfast love for thousands… (Exodus 34:6-7)

The steadfast love (hesed) of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Surely goodness and mercy (hesed) shall pursue me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever. (Psalm 23:6)

The word pursue is often used to describe an army who is chasing after a defeated foe to pillage them. Here it is used to describe the relentless pursuit of God in his steadfast love for his beloved people. The fullness of this loyal love is seen at the cross of Jesus Christ, where the only One who was fully faithful to God and his people was treated as a lawbreaker and bore the curse of God. And he did this so that we, unfaithful lawbreakers could be clothed in his righteousness and steadfast love forever.

This is the love that God has for us… and increasingly, it is the kind of love we are to have for one another. So back to Proverbs 20:6. This verse is not downplaying steadfast love. That’s a central, maybe the central understanding of God’s covenantal love for his people and the kind of love we ought to have for one another. Rather it contrasts the many who boast of this love (but it’s just words) and the rare person who is actually faithful, true, reliable, trustworthy in their loyalty and love or loyal love. 

This faithfulness is something God wants to form in us. It’s actually a fruit of the Spirit. Did you know that? We know the first three or four in that list in Galatians 5 pretty well, but once we get past “love, joy, peace, patience…” we forget. Faithfulness is one of them. One evidence of the Spirit’s work in your life will be growing faithfulness to others. And I just want to plant this thought in you. It is faithful men and women, boys and girls - faithful to God and faithful in their God-given relationships that will change the world. That is not hyperbole. I am serious. Do you remember how Jesus said the Kingdom of God advances? Slowly, steadily, often imperceptibly. We often think of the kingdom coming like the storming of Normandy Beach on June 6, 1944. But actually it’s like leaven being kneaded through a lump of dough.

So I want to describe the faithful man or woman in four points of application. And as I said before, the Spirit works to produce this in the believer, but what he works in, you are to work out. So, do you want to be the faithful man, the faithful woman, the faithful boy or girl? Of course you do. Let me describe for you what the faithful man/woman looks like. And this is what you are to pursue to be the faithful person.

First, a faithful man’s life is governed by sound principles and duties, rather than fleeting emotions and feelings. You can imagine this verse describing someone who is moved with a strong wave of emotion boasting of their love. But when the feelings wane, where are they? Nowhere to be found. When the strong emotions left, so did they. A faithful man who can find… 

I want to clarify something before going on. We are emotional beings. God created us that way. Emotions are a wonderful part of our makeup. Without emotions, life would be pretty boring and bland. Everyone would walk around with lifeless looks, relate like a stoic, and talk in a monotone voice. 

But with all that said, the faithful man is faithful because he is governed by something much more steady than his fickle emotions; he has governing principles that help give order and shape to his life - obedience to God’s revealed will is preeminent. He believes that God requires certain things from him. He has responsibilities under God to the people has placed in his life. And therefore, he lives with a sense of duty - to God and his people.

Emotions are wonderful servants, but terrible masters. A faithful man or woman would never live by the motto, “You be you” or “follow your heart” or “pursue your dreams”. It’s not that we have no aspirations. It’s just that our aspirations are to be formed by the life that God has given us. We are not always chasing after something else. This gives a certain consistency to life. 

And it’s not that emotion has no part in performing our responsibilities, doing our duties. They do. We just want to make sure that our emotions, our feelings line up with what is right instead of trying to determine what’s right based on how we feel. Let me give an example. Ephesians 6 says, “children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother…” This is what is required of children in their home. And the only way to perform this in a way that pleases God is to do it joyfully and from the heart. 

Things have been significantly inverted in our society. Feelings and emotions seem to rule the roost. Expressive individualism is the highest good. To the point that everyone is supposed to go along with a troubled young boy who feels like he’s a girl. Thirty years ago a doctor presented a case like that would have addressed the problem by seeking to bring this boy’s feelings into alignment with physical reality - namely his body. Today that has been reversed - many doctors today presented with this scenario seek to bring the child’s body into conformity with what he or she feels inside by mutilating it and pumping it full of foreign hormones. 

As Christians, our lives are to be governed by these concrete realities - responsibilities before God. There is much in the bible that addresses us as Christians and essentially says, “This is who you are. Do what is required of you.” You are a Christian, a man, a woman, a father, a mother, a husband, a wife, a friend, an employee, a boss, a child, a member of the body of Christ. In all of these interpersonal relationships we find ourselves in, we should want to know how God wants me to live. What does he require of me? What are my duties/responsibilities in all these relations?

And the responsibilities ought to be performed with heart (that’s where emotions come into play). We ought to do all these things with zeal. Thomas Watson said, “duties done without zeal dishonor God.” We ought to be zealous for doing what pleases God. So let your life be governed by sound principles and duties, not emotions. 

Second, a faithful man’s life is characterized by action, not good intentions and words. The faithful man doesn’t just proclaim his steadfast love, he proves it. He shows up. When there is need, he’s there. He doesn’t just talk about love, in fact he may not say much or anything about love. He just shows it. I think that is the most direct point from this verse. 

This truth is echoed throughout the NT. The apostle John said, “Little children, let us not love in word or talk, but in deed and in truth” (1 john 3:18). It always costs more to act in love than to merely boast of love. 

And sometimes the actions that need to be taken are hard. It may even seem to threaten the relationship. It can be hard to discipline a child. But it is our responsibility, our duty as parents (going back to point 1). And the parent who doesn’t, Proverbs says “hates their child”. If you love your child, you will. We don’t want to just say how much we love our children, we want to show it with action - sometimes difficult action. It can be hard to confront a friend caught in sin, but if you love them you will. The one who lavishes you with kisses is an enemy when what is needed is the wound of a true friend. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” The faithful man/woman’s life will be characterized by action, not good intentions and words. 

Third, the faithful man/woman grows in perseverance through trials. Trials don’t ultimately derail the faithful man or woman. No, it makes them stronger. You know that’s the purpose of trials right? God ordains trials for us so that we grow in steadfastness. Steadfastness (perseverance) is that ability to keep moving forward, keep pressing on in the path of obedience to Christ. So to strengthen this steadfastness, so we are faithful to the end, God gives us tailor made troubles. Our trials and hardship are not random. We hear this so clearly, right off the bat in the book of James:

Count it all joy my brothers, when you endure trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4) 

Perseverance is like the locomotive that pushes a faithful man or woman forward through thick and thin. And God works this perseverance or steadfastness in us through difficulty and trials. Just to connect with the previous two points - perseverance strengthens the faithful man or woman to continue in their responsibilities, to continue to live a life of acted out love. Michael Green said that our life ought to be like “the steady burning of a star rather than the ephemeral brilliance of a meteor.” The Christian life is a grueling endurance run where we faithfully put one foot in front of the other… we keep performing our duties with joyful zeal, we keep loving in deed and in truth. 

Fourth, the faithful man/woman lives with the future in mind and looks for the reward of the Lord. Faithfulness communicates something about longevity. The faithful man is in it for the long haul. Imagine being at a wedding and instead of the traditional “till death do us part” (or something similar) the bride and groom said, “till the love tank runs dry”. You would be thinking, this is not gonna last very long. But because the faithful man governs his life by principle and a sense of duty to the people he is responsible to. And because his life is characterized by action and not words or good intentions. And because trials are having an enduring effect upon his life, of course he is prepared and concerned for the long term.

He has his eyes set on the future. He wants to be faithful to the end, looking to the reward he will receive from the Lord Jesus Christ. Ultimately his eyes are set on eternity. But even in this life, he has his eyes set on how his faithfulness now will affect his children, children’s children, and even many generations that follow. Now, if you don’t have children, you are NOT left out, because you get to be part of the generational blessing of God and are a part of laboring for future generations of Christians as well. The children in this church are in a sense “our children”. Of course I don’t want you usurping my authority with my children. However, I want many godly men and women speaking into their lives and showing them love and pointing them in the right direction. 

I am not sure exactly when, but I have been thinking more and more about my offspring 100, 500 years in the future. I didn’t grow up thinking this way - and wasn’t around people who did. Maybe it was when my oldest Sabrina got married and I thought to myself, “I could be a grandpa pretty soon…” I said to Alissa the other night, we could have another generation added to our immediate family soon. 

Verse 7 says… the righteous man who walks in his integrity - blessed are his children after him!

So to live this way - faithfulness now impacts future generations, I think is ultimately to aim for eternity. Living for eternity is not living as though nothing in this life matters. Rather living for eternity is living as though everything matters, and it all matters forever. [Gladiator]. CS Lewis said something like, “Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you will get neither.” Let’s truly aim at heaven.

Who can find a faithful man/woman? This is a tall order. But if you say, “I want to be the faithful man, the faithful woman”, I want to leave you encouraged. We do it all “by faith”. The life we now live is by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave himself for us. We look to Christ by faith. 

Jesus Christ is the prototypical faithful man. He was called “the faithful witness” (Revelation 2:13). He is given the name “Faithful and true” (Revelation 19:11). The Lord Jesus Christ in his incarnation is the epitome of a life governed by duty, responsibility carried out with great zeal. He came to do the will of his father, fulfilled all righteousness, humbled himself to the point of death, even death on the cross in order to ransom those that the father had given him. He is THE faithful Man.

Not only that, Jesus didn’t just send a love letter, proclaiming his love for us. He acted right? He emptied himself, taking the form of a slave for us. He lived a perfect life on our behalf. He went to the battlefield and defeated death and sin for us. He gave his life as a ransom. He rose from the dead. And even now, he is not kicking up his feet relaxing. He now intercedes unceasingly. He is at work conquering his/our enemies. He is THE faithful Man.

Christ persevered - he overcame in the desert when tempted. He endured the temptation to not drink the cup the father had given him. He endured the cross. He did it all, “for the joy set before him…” Jesus Christ is THE faithful man! And you and I are called to be faithful in and through him. 

“Many a man proclaims their own steadfast love but a faithful man who can find”? Brothers and sisters, look to Christ, the One who is faithful and true. And then set your hand to the plow and determine… resolve by faith to be a faithful man, woman, boy, girl in the strength of the Spirit.