Sermons

Slow to Anger

October 30, 2022 Speaker: Josh DeGroote Series: Get Wisdom

Topic: Wisdom Passage: Proverbs 16:32, Proverbs 25:28

One of the themes we see in the book of Proverbs is one of self control. Not just self control when it comes to bodily desires like sex and food, but self control in our emotions. Ruling our emotions and in particular ruling over anger. Being slow to anger. There is a folly in being ruled by your spirit and its unruly emotions, and there is a wisdom in self-control. Now, I am going to say up front that there is of course such a thing as righteous anger. When we are angry in a righteous way. Paul says, “Be angry and do not sin…” so there must be such a thing as anger that is not sinful. But that is probably rare. Usually our anger is sinful. 

And it begs the question, why do we get angry? I think it boils down to this. Because we want to be God and be able to control people and circumstances and outcomes, and we can’t. The story of Nebuchadnezzar and Daniel’s three friends come to mind. Daniel 3 gives us the account. Nebuchadnezzar issued a decree that when certain music was played, people were to bow down and worship his golden image. Three Jewish men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego weren’t playing along and so Nebuchadnezzar had them brought to him and when they still refused, saying “we will not worship your gods or bow down to your golden image”, Nebucahdnezzar got pretty angry. It says, 

Then Nebuchadnezzar was filled with fury, and the expression of his face was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and he ordered the furnace be turned up seven times… 

And we know how the story ends. Nebuchadnezzar couldn’t control these men, he couldn’t make them do what he wanted and it made him angry. We think Nebuchadnezzar was a bad guy. And we think people really ought to do what I want them to do. Circumstances really ought to line up in my favor… and when they don’t we can lose self-control and get angry. And one thing we need to realize as Christians is that our sinful anger is really a veiled accusation at God, because we don’t like the way he has ordered our lives. 

Of course there are two ways to express anger. One is the explosive, outburst of anger which explodes like a volcano; and the ash clouds hover over the home, and the lava comes raining down on everyone in the family room or around the kitchen table. That’s explosive anger. It is very obvious.

And there is also anger which is expressed more subtly, through the silent treatment, the cold shoulder, and other passive-aggressive techniques. This is perhaps more dangerous because it lies stealthily underneath a veneer of self-control. And if I am going to be honest (which I want to be), this is where I need the help of the Holy Spirit in ruling my spirit. I don’t think anyone here, including my children (wife out of town, but her too) could accuse me of yelling and screaming in anger… I don’t do that. But sadly my wife and children have been victims of my anger manifest in less obvious, but still destructive ways. We need the Spirit’s help. 

Thankfully, he is here to help. And self-control is a fruit of his presence in our lives. Part of the renewing work of the indwelling Spirit is to produce the fruit of self-control in us. We would be wrong to think of self-control as a less important, less impressive fruit… since it’s the last in a list that begins with love. That would be wrong. I want you to see from our time today that self-control is a sort of superpower that flies underneath the radar; a superpower that almost nobody believes is one, but truly is.

In these two verses, we have a warning and a word of hope. 



Let’s first look at the warning. Proverbs 25:28 says,

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. 

What a picture! It’s hard for me to not think immediately of Lord of the Rings - Two Towers. The Roherians think they are safe in Helms Deep until the orcs breach the wall and begin killing indiscriminately and ransacking this great fortress. A man who does not know how to rule his own emotions, is like a defenseless city. That’s the picture we have here. This is very clearly a warning. 

In ancient times, the walls of a city were very important to that city's protection. A wall was a sign of safety and security. It wasn’t until the walls of Jericho fell that the Israelites could take the city. It was when Nehemiah heard that the walls of Jerusalem were destroyed by fire, that he fell and wept and mourned for days. A wall was a sign of refuge.

And the higher and thicker the wall the better. The walls around the city of Babylon were enormous. Nebuchadnezzar II built three walls around Babylon that were about 40 feet tall and were wide enough that chariots could race on top of them. That’s some serious protection. 

So self-control is like a wall of defense - it keeps the orcs out, if you will. And the higher and thicker the wall, the better. The stronger our rule of our emotions, the better - the more protected our souls are. The imagery we have here is very instructive and helpful. Because it implies that a lack of self control over our emotions leaves our souls defenseless and helpless against all manner of attacks. And Paul actually addresses this in Ephesians 4:26-27, when he said, 

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. 

The implication here is that when we hold onto anger, when we do not rule our spirits, we are giving quarter to the devil, we are making room for him. The defensive walls have been breached and the soul has been broken into. Now, I do not believe that a Christian can be demon possessed. No way! The Lord Jesus Christ has laid claim on us. Jesus is the one who bound the strong man and plundered his property - and we were that property. The Holy Spirit is now the possessor of our souls. However, we can open ourselves up to all kinds of attacks, and one of the ways we do that is by not ruling over anger. And rest assured, once the protective wall around our souls is breached, the devil, who is the enemy of our souls, the father of lies, the tempter will wreak havoc. 

Thomas Watson wrote in his book The Doctrine of Repentance, “When lust or anger burn in the soul, Satan warms himself at the fire.” That is a fearful statement, but I think it goes right along with Ephesians 4:26-27. When we feel sinful anger burning in our soul - not a thought, but the slow burn of anger, we should also feel the presence of the devil coming near the warm himself at the fire of our anger. 

Well, just like the fruit of the Spirit comes in bunches, so does sin. When we give way to [sinful] anger, there are a host of other things that come on that train. The book of Proverbs helps us to understand what comes on the train with anger. 

How many know that anger often leads to doing and saying stupid things? We’ve seen this in a young child. We’ve all manifested this as a young child. A child gets worked up, and they lose their blasted mind! It happens to adults too. Well a lot of foolishness follows anger. Proverbs 14:17 says, "A man of quick temper acts foolishly."

Later in Proverbs 14, verse 29 says, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he has a hasty temper, exalts folly.” How many stupid things have we done or said in a moment of anger? How many lives have been destroyed because the slow burn of anger raged under the surface unchecked? 

Here’s something else that comes on the train with anger. Strife. This is so obvious. Proverbs 15:18 says, “The hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.” Proverbs 29:22 says, “A man of wrath stirs up strife, and one given to anger causes much transgression.” Fighting and brawling come in the wake of anger. Often it is the outrageous type of strife: yelling, screaming, name calling. For the passive-aggressive types it is arguments in our minds with people. It is strife that we stir up in our own minds. 

Anger doesn’t party alone, it brings with it a host of other evil friends and if we don’t learn to rule over it, our souls will be left in ruins. So we have this warning that we must rule over our spirits, we must exercise self-control, which is a defensive wall around our souls to guard against all sorts of attacks. 



Next, let’s look at a word of hope. Proverbs 16:32 says,

Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules over his spirit, than he who takes a city. 

The history books are filled with the stories of great and mighty men. Men of power. Men who conquered cities and empires. Men who subdued and subjected opposing forces. The history books are filled with accounts of the power and riches they amassed. The power they demonstrated in extending their empire. Take for instance, Alexander the Great.

Proverbs 16:32 says the one who rules over his spirit, who is slow to anger is better than men who have conquered cities and kingdoms. Apparently ruling and conquering over our spirit is more important and difficult than taking a city. Subduing sinful passions in our hearts. Exalting and cultivating godly attitudes, virtues, and actions. This is a greater feat than taking a city.

We need to see the way God does. Self-control is a superpower, and notice it is an offensive weapon. In Proverbs 25:28 we saw that it is  a defensive weapon, like a wall of protection around our soul. Here we see that the one who possesses self control is a warrior, who can take a city. Because once he has learned to rule his own spirit, he can move out from there. 

The key word is “rule”. You are to rule over your spirit. The word “rule” means to take dominion, reign, govern. When we think of government, my guess is most often we think of the state or federal government in America. But government always begins with the individual learning to govern or rule over him or herself. And then we move out from there. Family government, church government, civil government. 

The first line of government is self-government. Perhaps one of the reasons we have seen an enormous increase in the size, reach, and oppression of our federal government is because there is a large population of people who do not know how nor want to govern themselves. John Adams famously said, “Our constitution was made only for a moral and religious people; it is wholly inadequate to the government of any other.”  So we are to rule over our spirit - our inner man. It all begins here, right? This is the goal. How do we do that?

How do we grow in self-control? How do we take dominion over our souls as it pertains to anger? Notice I didn’t ask how we manage our anger. The world has plenty of ideas about that - anger management techniques. Take some deep breaths. Go outside and scream really loud. Take some swings at a punching bag. We don’t need to manage our anger. We need to rule, govern, take dominion over our spirit. We need a change from the inside out. The Holy Spirit produces self-control in us as fruit, which indicates that it grows progressively,  over time. But what must we do to work with the Spirit? More could be said, but to be slow to anger, to rule our spirits, you must do three things:

 

First, REMEMBER God’s anger. There is an anger that is righteous - God’s always is. In an obvious way the anger of God is the most fierce and frightening thing we could ever imagine. And yet, for those who are in Christ, God’s righteous anger is the answer to our unrighteous anger. Let me explain. I mentioned earlier, our sinful anger is first sinful against God. Not mainly against another person or group of people we may be angry at. 

Our anger is an affront to God and if not dealt with it will sink us to the lowest hell. Colossians 3 says, that it is on account of our anger, wrath, malice, and slander that the wrath of God is coming (Colossians 3:6-8). But God, in his mercy and justice, poured out his righteous anger upon Christ on the cross to punish our sin and put it to death. That’s what happened in the death of Christ. He bore our sins, our guilt, and the anger of God that we deserve in our place, and took them away. Through faith in Christ, our sin is canceled, our guilt expunged, the wrath of God we deserve, absorbed by Christ and there is none left for us. And so what do forgiven, justified, loved children of God do? They forgive. They love. In the song, O For A Thousand Tongues to Sing, there’s a line that is rich in theological truth. 

He breaks the power of canceled sin, he sets the prisoner free. His blood can make the foulest clean. His blood availed for me. 

Canceled sin is sin that has had its power broken. Which sins have been canceled through Christ? For those who believe, they all have! And once the shackles of canceled sin are broken, the prisoner can go free and is no longer a prisoner. If you are in Christ, he has canceled the sin of anger and wrath, he has broken the chains that have held you bound, and you can now walk as a free man or woman. So remember God’s anger. Next… 

 

Second, CONFESS Yours. What do we do with the anger we still battle? When we find ourselves angry, what do we do? When we have blown up in anger or we have been secretly carrying the fires of anger close to our heart, what do we do? As Christians, we are to confess it! We do not justify it. We don’t blame-shift. We confess. This is so important. One of the reasons why some can’t get victory over anger is because they don’t confess - which means they don’t say the same thing God says about it. That’s confession! The old-timers used to call this keeping short accounts with God. Regular confession of sin. This is what it means to walk in the light with God. Listen to 1 John 1:6-10:

6 If we say we have fellowship with him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

You might be thinking, “Wait, you said all our sins are forgiven through Christ on the cross”. Yes, as a legal or forensic matter, our sins are forgiven. But here we are talking about fellowship with God, our Father and fellowship with one another. You know this. In a human relationship, sin unacknowledged damages the closeness of fellowship. It does. Well it does with God as well. If we say we have fellowship with God while we walk in the darkness of anger, we lie. So, confess your anger to God. Let him cleanse your soul of it. Remember God’s anger, confess yours. Third and final,  

 

Third, IMITATE your Father. Remember when God revealed himself to Moses and proclaimed his name in Exodus 34? This is one of the epic events in scripture, one of the high points of divine revelation. Remember, this was God’s response to Moses saying, “LORD, show me your glory.” What God does is proclaims his name, and what he proclaims of himself gets to the very core of who he is and how he behaves toward his beloved, covenant people. 

The LORD passed before Moses and proclaimed: “The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love…” (Exodus 34:6)

He’s slow to anger. He abounds in loyal love. We get a clue as to how important this revelation is of God by how often we see this phrase, “The LORD is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love”  repeated in the bible. It’s everywhere! JONAH 4.  

For all who are in Christ, this is how God wants us to know him. He is our Father who is slow to anger… who abounds in steadfast love. Some have the exact opposite view of God. They think his anger is like a pent up dam, ready to gush forth in a moment. And his love is slow to build. But it’s just the opposite. Slow to anger. His love is spring-loaded. He abounds in his loyal, covenant love. 

Do you know Him? I mean do you know the God who is slow to anger. The God who is abounding in steadfast love. Do you know him as your Father? Do you know that this is mercy and love and patience you do not deserve? David repeats this in Psalm 103,

8 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. 9 He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. 10 He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

I ask again, do you know this God? If you don’t, his invitation is open today through Jesus Christ. If you do, then imitate him. Ephesians 5:1 says, “Imitate God, as beloved children and walk in love as Christ loved us.” As a beloved child of God, imitate him. Be slow to anger. Abound in love. 

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