Words are important.  What you say and how you say it matters!  And that’s what we are going to talk about this morning.  

We speak because God speaks.  We are made in his image.  We can communicate!  It’s a marvelous gift!  But...

When sin entered the world, it affected everything about us, including how we talk.  Instead of blessing others and praising God, we often curse, complain, and condemn. Our words often hurt instead of help. Christ came into the world to redeem us from this fallen condition. He came to restore us to wholeness in every area of life! Including how we use our tongue. 

A couple of years ago I met a guy in Wyoming. He was showing me his new Indian motorcyle.  He said he had just become a Christian.  But I noticed his motorcycle jacket had a lot of things on it that would not glorify God.  And he said, I got saved but my jacket hasn’t gotten saved yet.  

We can be like that with our tongue. We can be saved, but yet talk like our tongue hasn’t been saved yet.  Sometimes people who are thought to be pretty mature Christians, who know their Bible and have been in church a long time, still grumble or gossip, or speak with anger and bitterness or frustration and irritation, a lot!  As James said, “Brothers, these things ought not to be!” 

So we come to Proverbs and find that God has something to say to us about our tongue.  We find God’s wisdom for our tongue.

First-Our tongue has immense power to do good and to do damage. Proverbs says, “death AND life are in the power of the tongue.”  “A perverse tongue can crush the spirit.”  “With his mouth the godless man destroys his neighbor.” 

We all know this destructive power from personal experience! Someone can speak sharp words to us, or slander us, and we feel crushed, wounded, beat up maybe even sick.  But...

Your tongue ALSO can heal and put happiness inside a person. Pleasant words bring “sweetness to the soul and health to the body” Prov. 16:24  Someone said some things to me a couple of weeks ago that encouraged me, made me happy, it lifted up my spirit. And you can do that with your tongue Prov. 10:11 “The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life”. YOUR tongue can revive people!  You can make them come alive!

You may feel that you do not have great gifts.  But you have a tongue and your tongue can bless others in powerful ways! Your tongue is the way you can change the world.  

So what should we do with this knowledge, that our tongue can do immense damage or enormous good?  We should vigilantly guard our tongue from evil!  AND we should make a valiant effort to use our tongue for good.   

Second clear truth: *Gentleness is to characterize our words. Harsh angry words are condemned.  15:4 “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.” The NASB says “a soothing tongue” is a tree of life.  Our tongue is to calm troubled waters.  It is NOT to be used to stir things up, create strife, and fuel anger.  This is a very simple guide!  “Is what I am about to say gentle or harsh?”  

This doesn’t mean we should never talk through problems or rebuke someone about a sin.  But we must speak with compassion, and godly wisdom.  

Third truth: *Good words result in a good life. Bad words result in a bad life!  13:3 “Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; (or those who control their tongue will protect their life or have a long life.)  But.. “he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.”  You control a lot of your own destiny by how you talk!  

Proverbs always contrasts the blessed life and hard life! Calamity, misery and destruction will come upon those who despise God’s wisdom.  And blessing, happiness and well-being will come to those who do life God’s way.  A theme of Proverbs that also applies to the tongue!  

We have all heard the proverb that life and death are in the power of the tongue.  But that verse goes on to say those who love it will eat it’s fruit.  Meaning that we will experience the consequences of how we speak, good or bad! If you love saying harsh evil things you will eat the fruit of that.  If you love using your tongue for good you will eat the fruit of that. 

There is that expression, “I had to eat my words.”  Well we all do that, all the time! Bitter or sweet. 

21:23 “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”  Do you want less trouble in your life?  Be a whole lot more careful with your words. I don’t find anything in the Bible that says you should just say whatever you are thinking!  No! It says keep your mouth, guard your tongue. It seldom pays to speak out of anger or a bad mood, or critical spirit.  You can say things that ruin your life!  You don’t think about that when you let loose with angry or bitter words. But you are jeopardizing your future.  

1 Peter 3:10 For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.”  Amazing verse. The key ingredient to having a life that you love, and having good day after good day, is to keep your tongue saying evil things! 

James said just like a small spark can set a whole forest ablaze, so “the tongue can set the whole course of YOUR life on fire.” James 3:6  A tongue can burn down a marriage, a church, friendships, and a multitude of relationships.  

*But God says If you guard your tongue you preserve or protect your life.  You make your own life better, safer, less painful.  

*Fourth: Proverbs warns us of the great damage specific uses or of our tongue can do to others too.  Sins of the tongue are not small harmless sins!  

-First: Telling lies, about your neighbor, slandering them, is compared to killing your neighbor!  Proverbs 25:18 “A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a war club, or a sword, or a sharp arrow.”  Exaggerating someone’s faults or errors, spreading false and damaging information, can cut a brother or sister to pieces.  

Reckless cutting remarks are like cutting someone to pieces with a sword 12:18 “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword.” If you are really good at put downs, if sharp, clever comebacks come easily to you, if you have that gift, beware of the damage you can do!  People often justify hurtful words by saying, “I’m just being honest.”  But honesty without love can be brutal.

-Harsh angry words stir up more anger and destroys peace.  Prov. 15:1 “A harsh word stirs up anger.”  29:9 “The fool rages or scoffs and there is no peace.”  It may feel good to go off on somebody.  But unless that person is a really godly saint they will strike back.  And the fight will go on and get bigger. 

We should be most careful about this in our homes. Men are more prone to anger but Proverbs also says, “It is better to live in the dessert than with a quarrelsome woman.”  Angry quarrelsome words from men or women, turn the home into a miserable place.   

Still covering specific uses of the tongue that cause damage to others. Next:

-Using your tongue to repeat offenses. Proverbs 17:9 “Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but he who brings it up separates friends.”  If you repeatedly bring up grievances you will alienate even your best friend.”  We should not be easily offended! Proverbs 19:11 “It is a man’s glory to overlook an offense.”  But if you are offended, don’t keep talking about it!  If something needs to be dealt with bring it up once and then don’t keep repeating it. 

*Using our tongue to gossip.  Gossip creates conflict and quarrels. 26:20 “Without wood, a fire goes out; without gossip, a conflict ceases.” Gossip is talking about people’s faults and failures in a hurtful way.  It’s a way to make others look bad and ourselves look good.  Matt Mitchell (Desiring God) said, “The sin of gossip is bearing bad news, behind someone’s back, out of a bad heart.”  Gossip hurts, damages and divides.  

***

*But then Proverbs tells us of the tremendous, almost unbelievable good that our words can do.   

-Gentle words can calm down an angry person.  15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath.” NASB  Being slow to speak, responding with self-control can calm down an explosive situation. 

-Words spoken with patience are more persuasive in getting another person to change their mind. 25:15 “With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone.”

-Wise use of words makes a difficult truth easier to accept.  15:2 “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable,(pleasant or appealing)” NASB  Many truths are hard for people to hear and accept.  We don’t help people change by beating them up or with arrogant arguments. But with patient, gentle, self control in our words.  It’s not saying we can’t be strong or firm or that we can’t have convictions that we won’t bend on, but we don’t use our words to create an unnecessary  hurdle for people.  We use words to make truth acceptable. 

-Gracious, kind words give life!  “Life is in the power of the tongue!”  “The tongue of the righteous is a fountain of life.”   You have the power to give life through your words. You can revive others with your tongue!  You can heal, restore, lift up, stir up.   Gracious words bring “sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Your words can increase someone’s joy and maybe even improve their health!   Make that your aim!  When you walk into a room, think about that.  “I want to use my tongue to bring life.” 

I have always been impressed with the NT greetings. “Grace to you” and “peace to you”.  “Peace be yours in abundance.” Are these just nice words?  Or do they do something for those who receive them?  I’m convinced they do something!  God uses our words to actually increase the experience of peace and grace and joy in another persons heart. 

*How do we overcome negative, evil, harmful words?  And start using our tongue to give life?  

-First: By giving way to the Holy Spirit who is in you! “Be filled with the Spirit “speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.”  It is our relationship with God’s Spirit that changes HOW we speak to each other!!  If frustrated, irritated, angry talk is what is coming out of our mouth, something is wrong in our relationship with the Holy Spirit.  Of course we literally sing and worship. But we are also to talk to each other out of hearts that are full of praise and song!   That’s the aim, the goal!  Singing and making melody in your heart, then speaking to one another out of that  state of heart. 

Second: By active obedience to the scripture! Col. 3:8 “You must put aside all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” 

*Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious.”   

*Eph. 4:29 “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen.”  We change our tongue when we begin to take these scriptures seriously, wherever we are, whatever time of day it is, whoever we are with.

-Third: Guard your mouth by guarding what is going on in your heart.  Theodore Epp said, “Remember that the tongue speaks only what is in the heart.”  If you are really critical of someone IN YOUR HEART, that is going to come out.  If you hate someone, or are jealous of someone or you are frustrated with someone, that will come out! We fix our words by repenting of how we are thinking about people and situations. 

-Fourth: Learn to speak the word of God with others.  Learn to share a promise, a truth, a verse with others. I know for those who haven’t done it, it can feel like going off the 10’ diving board at the swimming pool for the first time.  But begin by saying to your wife or children, here is a really good verse I read.  You might be amazed at what that could do to encourage someone and give them life!  David said, “My soul cleaves to the dust”.  He’s really down and discouraged!  What does he say next?  “Revive me according to your word”.  You can lift someone up from a very low place with God’s word!  When we encourage and teach one another with God’s word, the wrong uses of our tongue will fall away from us.

-Fifth: Pray about your words. Psalm 19:14 “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”  What a needed prayer!  When you have a responsibility to speak, or anytime you are going to be with other people.  Pray, “God make me a minister.  Anoint my tongue with your Spirit today!  Let me bless a lot of people!  Let me speak as it were God speaking to this person.   

Pray for the right words for the moment.  25:11 “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”  I read a prayer, that went something like this, “Dear Lord, I am asking You to “give me on-the-spot wisdom in (my) conversations with people today.” What a great prayer!

Roy Lessin wrote a prayer in a devotional blog.  I’m going to ask us to bow our heads and pray this with me.  “Father guide my thoughts before they become my words. Place a guard over my mouth and a watchman over the door of my lips.

When I open my mouth, I ask You to fill it with right words, good words, true words, loving words—...Use my words this day to heal and not harm, to restore and not separate, to extend mercy and not judgment, to build up and not pull down, to comfort and not injure... to encourage and not quench, to mend and not wound. 

If I am to speak correction, may it be with compassion; if I am to exhort, may it be with humility; If I am to instruct, may it be with brokenness;...if I am to counsel, may it be according to Your word.

Guard my tongue from murmuring and my voice from complaint. In all things, may my mouth be filled with words of gratitude, expressions of praise, and proclamations of Your faithfulness.”  In Jesus name, Amen.

It is often been said that revivals start with repentance.  And often our great need is to repent of our hurtful and ungodly words. Then ask for grace to give life to others with our tongue.